Ahhhh! High School!

Welcome to either the best or the worst 4 years of your life. Have you ever noticed how people always say it was either the best or worst theres no middle ground, that really sucks. I hope like mine will be good, like not AWESOME AND AMAZING but also not a hole epic fail. So that way when i have kids i can tell them High School was good and okay. Simple as that :D Well really im expecting like everything that can go wrong will... like i have monsters for teaches, lunch with the creepos (no offense) but then i think about my older sister who's going to be a senior, and heck if she has made it that far, then sure has hell i can! (PS the blog is rated PG-13 because of language, my bad!) im kind of pumped for high school, who knows if i will feel the same way in a week but right now i feel like i can do it!

4th Of July

One of my really big wishes is to be able to live during the Revolution War. To be part of the history, to know our founding fathers, the way of living back then was amazing! I think life would be easier, you wouldn't have all the technology, detractions, you would make everything yourself or buy it for like a penny. I would definitely be against slavery though. I just think it would be awesome to see our country come together, and fighting for our freedom. This forth, while watching the impressive show my family put on, i thought about all the people that have died so that i can be sitting here FREE. I also thought about what our country will be like in say 20 years, think about all then men and women that would have died for our country in 2030. It's unbelievable. Remember freedom isn't free, and neither is keeping it that way. Happy 4th!

wow....

I finished my memory book (English project) i was looking back at all that has happened to me, and then writing a letter to the future me. I makes me think about what the world will be like in 20 years, who knows where i will be, what i will be doing. Who says i will even be alive. I wonder if i will be what i want to be, or if i will be the complete opposite. i wonder where i will live, if i will still be in touch with the friends i have now. Then i think about what if i didnt do that one thing or meet that one person? The smallest thing can make a huge impact. What if i didnt pray for that hobo on the side of the street? would he be where he is now? If is only a two letter word but can change a life, so instead of say "why didnt i help that person?" ask yourself this "what if i didnt help this person?"

Different Paths

I have made some pretty big decision in the last couple of weeks, and I'm surprised on how different I feel and act. I finally feel like I'm heading down the right path, and thats a relief. I just made a future life changing decision, I have changed my mind on what career I want to pursue, and the Collage I want to go to. Some changes are good, and some are bad, but it always seems like if you fall down and don't think you can get your life back on tract. Remember, a life changing decision can give you a lift back to your feet.

Fire

I'm sitting in front of a raging fire, and I have called myself a pyro before but i have never thought about it like this. I dont like starting fires, I just like to watch them and I'm fascinated by they way they seem so free and careless. I wish life was like that, where we wouldn't give a crap about what was happening around us or what other people are doing. All that matters is that we are alive and we should fulfill the purpose of us living. I do believe everyone has a gift and we come to relize those gifts when God feels that its our time. I'm not sure on what my gift is right now, but I have reason to believe that it is music or speaking to people about the good things in life and God. I really hope that someday I will see that me being there for that one person or me showing that person what life is about will make a difference to their life. I hope I will make a difference in many lives.

Change

I hope the change i just made is a good one. I believe change is always for the good, but my reasonable mind is telling me the opposite. Right now I feel pretty good about where I'm heading, but only time will tell. I know one thing I need to stop letting my emotional mind make all the decisions. I can only can only hope that I wont loose something from the change that I made.

"Life is Crap"

Well, i just really have to point out that my sister got me a "Life is Crap" calender for Christmas, and i believe its true life is crap. We go through so much more crap then happiness in our life that it almost doesn't seem like its worth it. But we do live it, our human minds seem to be programed to go through the pattern of our everyday life. I think that a person that takes their own life has to be the most stupid, but they also must be brave. I seem to ask myself everyday. "What's the point? Why do i do this? Where are you God?" The last one seems to be a biggy, and i have to admit that i have heard many sermons about where God is in your life. One of my fave verses to do with this is "²Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."- James 1:2-3. God is testing me?? But why would he do this to one of his lambs? Sometimes its not God doing the bad things it could be the evil one, Satan. Sometimes when i since that something isnt right or i can feel the evil one around me, i yell out "SATAN GET AWAY! GOD HELP ME! PLEASE" and then i feel relief and comfort. So next time you are having a bad day remember you always have God!

ps: an awesome song to listen to on a bed day- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OzzywdDozo

Boys, boys, boys

Well i can say this, they are retarded, and need some help. I just want to point out to all the girls that have been broken apart from middle school retards, move on, get past them. It makes them even more insane by hurting the pretty faces of young ladies. I have learned that dating them can be worse then the break up, so girls dont waste your time chasing after "the one" eventually they will come to you. Or you'll find someone better! good luck, and just remember the love you have in friends and family is why better then a dude that treats you like crap!

ps: one of my favorite quotes is "Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to." So also think about who you want to give that power to, and if they are good enough for that power. Your heart is very special, and needs to be in one piece!

Merry Christmas

This Christmas season has really made me think about all that has happened in my life. I'm praying 2010 will be better then 2009. I think one of the best gifts you can give someone this year, or any year, is forgiveness. Forgiving someone who has wronged you takes a lot of strength, but would clear your mind some. It would also be nice to start the new year fresh. Well, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Police Officers

Well, i have to say not all cops are bad but there is a few. Like the one who teaches DARE at my school. Heres the story: I had my assignment out in front of me in homeroom and my friend Shelby was comparing her answers with mine. Then this girl, no names mention, took my paper and asked if she could copy it. I said "no, but when do you have DARE?" Her reply "3rd and thanks" Then i said "well i have it 4th give it back" then she walked out the door. i was like "WTF BITCH!" and when i went to DARE i had to explain to the officer, that teaches us, that my paper was stolen by this girl and he said "well i dont know what to tell you. why did she steal it?" my reply "to copy it! (duh! in my head)". And he just said "sorry guess you'll get a zero"

Okay but excuse me, arent police officers suppose to care when things are stolen?!?!

TXT Messages

Okay, whatever you stupid middle school boys are thinking your wrong. Breaking up with a girl over a txt is not the way to do it, especially when you have your best friend do it, who just happens to be your girlfriend's best friend too (well i guess shes your ex now). It also makes me very mad when boys don't give you a reason for ending your relationship, and act like every thing is all right and well just being a jerk to us girls is pretty sad too. And your in 8th grade, your relationship shouldn't be that serious, and yes I know us girls have some flaws too, but I would at least have the decency to do it to the person's face. Well thats all I have for know, more crap to come I'm sure of it.

Drama

It seems that whatever i do to try to help i end up epicly failing, and making it worse. it just seems like there isnt a purpose for every tear i cry and i dont now why. i wish God will just take me under his wing and guard me from all evil, but it seems almost impossible. i tried one of the only rescues for feeling like this (shopping) and it didnt work sadly :( so now i will most likely go and cry myself asleep with those purposeless tears. :,(